two poems

I got in bed stoned and heard myself saying aloud “is it gay to sleep” then I started cackling, then crying

I was jolted awake by the memory of a boy from my high school whose facebook bio merely said “capitalist” and the time he took my friend into the woods and
apparently just bit her on the neck for one hour.

I was jolted awake by the memory of a joke at my school in fourth grade, where kids would lie on the ground and scream P H O T O S Y N T H E S I S

I was jolted awake by the memory of when we had just started dating, and you had a panic attack, and one of the only things I knew about you was that you loved the song “Werewolves of London” by Warren Zevon, so I just started shyly singing it.

I was jolted awake by the memory of the one time dad and I rode horses together, and he was so big that he had to ride a horse named Jumbo, and he was scared and tried to hide it, but it was no use. Jumbo took off faster than I knew a horse could run, and dad bounced around for a second on the horse’s back, dropping the reigns before they disappeared into the dense trees.

I was jolted awake by the memory of getting nervous in a hot tub once and telling this girl, “I’m a writer, but my passion is dioramas.”

I was jolted awake by the memory of when I was
panicking in the night and you gave me a hand
massage and whispered “everyone is harmless everyone is harmless” until i fell asleep.

I was taken out of myself for a moment,
when you called me to wish me a happy birthday
and spent most of the conversation complaining
about “spiritual tarot youtubers.”

I said, “that’s really interesting,”
and “I would love to hear
more about it,” and you said, “good.
because I have a lot more to say.”

—

eight years ago I lived in a concrete cube, wore banana republic corduroys, and had never had sex before.

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mary moore
@_lifehole